Letting Go of Uncomfortable Traditions

We've all been there. That moment, when you're attending a wedding, where there's a tradition that just makes you wince. I'm a big proponent of do what you want, but sometimes family members (or Pinterest) convince couples that they HAVE to do certain things.

I could watch bouquet toss fails ALL. DAY.

There are a lot of things that couples are leaving behind at their weddings, and I'm here to say that it's perfectly fine to tell family members to stuff it about certain things. So here's my wish list of things I would love to never see at a wedding again!

1. The garter up the leg- Bouquet and garter tosses can be hilarious if your friends are three drinks deep and have a sense of humor. But having a stranger put a garter up another stranger's leg? That's a big bowl of NOPE in my book.

I couldn't find a garter toss gif, so here's another bouquet toss fail!

It's creepy, it's weird, and I honestly don't understand why the grandmas that clutch their pearls when the best man drops his second f-bomb, but they howl with laughter when this whole thing goes down. Anyone with some generational insight on this, feel free to email me.

2. Creepy cake toppers- we've all seen them. It's usually a bride tying up/dragging the groom. I'm not saying they're not funny, but context, people. The generation that's marrying now, is marrying for love. Not as coercion for coitus, or financial stability, but for love. There's tons of funny ones that don't involve the tired "ball and chain" joke. My husband picked out a groom topper with frog feet. So can we retire the hostages, please?

3. Speaking of cake- Wanna put a little icing on your new spouse's nose? Cute.

But don't be like my friend here, who almost found out how close he came to "til death do us part":

There's video of this somewhere, but what followed was L putting her entire hand in the cake and smashing it so hard in his face, that he nearly took out the entire sweetheart table. Honestly it's true trust that he knew she had a giant knife in her hand.

Moral of the story is, most people that've had their hair and makeup done-which probably took two hours and cost quite a bit- will not appreciate their face needing to be washed clean.

3. Throwing rice- Rice will make birds' stomachs explode. It also sticks in everything, and if it's rainy outside, it gets gross for the people cleaning up. Please be kind to your ceremony site, especially if it's a religious place. Those folks often are working on a volunteer basis. Some alternative ideas: bird seed, herbs, flower petals (double check on that with the venue first), or bubbles.

4. Blood diamonds- This can go for engagement rings, too. Save some serious $$$ and go for lab-created semi-precious stones. It also encourages ethical business practices.

5. Wearing garters- OK, so this one isn't one I'd throw out, but I also don't think you should do it if it makes you uncomfortable. They can be itchy and show through certain materials.

6. Forcing people to give a speech- Come on, I'm sure you know someone else that would be more than happy to give a speech. Don't make your friend that's paralyzed by public speaking do it.

7. Tolerating the creep in the room- It's harder than it sounds. Most of us have "missing stair" people in our lives somewhere, usually a relative or a family friend that you've been forced to tolerate for the sake of the peace. It's ultimately your call if it's more effort to not invite them, but do be sure to let your planner, or a trusted friend, know who they are and to keep an eye on them. We're pretty good at mitigating creeps over here!

Honestly, though, a wedding is the party that you make it. Don't succumb to peer pressure from dead people! Do what you want to do! Old traditions or newly created ones, this is your day to create your family as two. Choose what will be the best for you, together.